Yes, There is a Time to Let the Sun Go Down on Anger

You get angry. You have heard or seen something that just stews you.

You sit down and write the email or the text. The words pour out of you, fueled by frustration and white-hot anger. Your fingers hit the keys harder and faster with every sentence.

But here’s a piece of advice that could save you—and your relationships—a lot of regret:
Do not press "send."

Is there a Biblical basis for this? Absolutely. Scripture gives us timeless wisdom about the power of our words and the importance of restraint:

• Proverbs 17:27: "Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding."
• Ecclesiastes 5:2: "Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few."
• James 1:19: "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."

Why do I write this? Because I’ve been there. I’ve sent emails before that I deeply regret. Words sent in haste can hurt others, damage trust, and, worst of all, misrepresent Christ’s character in us.

This lesson was reinforced recently when I received an angry email from a very smart person. They were upset about something I’d published. I could see where their misunderstanding had come from—but they completely missed the context.

I replied with an honest apology for any confusion caused. I’m only guessing here, but I suspect they re-read my article—and their email—and wished they had let things cool before sending it.

That’s the key: let things cool. Whether it’s 24 hours, overnight, or even just a few hours, waiting can help you see the situation more clearly. Emotions that feel overwhelming in the moment often lose their intensity with time.

Here are a few practical tips to help you respond wisely in such moments:

1. Write, but don’t send.
   Open a blank document or email, and pour out your thoughts. Venting in a private space can be therapeutic, but keep it unsent. Treat it as a draft for your eyes only.

2. Wait and pray.
   Set a timer or decide on a cooling-off period—whether it’s a few hours, overnight, or even longer. Use that time to pray, asking God for wisdom, clarity, and a spirit of grace.

3. Seek counsel.
   Before replying, show your draft to a trusted friend or mentor. Ask if your tone is gracious and constructive or if it’s likely to escalate the conflict. Read it to your wife at least and say- "Should I send it now or wait?"

4. Focus on understanding.
   When you’re ready to respond, begin by seeking clarity. You might start with something like, “I want to make sure I understand your concern fully before replying.” This approach shows humility and a willingness to listen.

5. Keep it short and gracious.
   Respond with as few words as possible, and keep your tone calm and respectful. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

6. Use scripture to guide your response.
   Before sending anything, ask yourself if your reply reflects the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Email and texting are wonderful tools, but their speed makes it all too easy to react without reflection. A hasty response can burn bridges, but a measured one can build understanding and preserve relationships.

So, the next time you feel that urge to fire off a message in anger, stop. Walk away. Pray about it. And remember the wisdom of Proverbs 21:23:
"Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble."

Let’s strive to follow this wisdom. After all, it’s far better to leave an email unsent than to spend days—or even years—wishing we hadn’t hit "send."