“The Call” and “a” Call- Day 6 June R&R

As I touched on yesterday, one of the more helpful distinctions Os Guinness makes in The Call is the difference between what he describes as “THE CALL” and “a call.” I probably did not appreciate that distinction enough when I first read the book years ago, but life has a way of making certain truths much clearer over time.

I think Christians sometimes overcomplicate the idea of calling.

Jesus’ invitations were actually pretty direct and understandable. “Follow me.” “Repent.” “Take up your cross.” “Love one another.” Before Christians are called to a particular profession, ministry, or assignment, they are first called to Christ Himself. Guinness says it well when he writes that our primary calling is “by Him, to Him, and for Him.”

That Primary call (THE CALL) does not really change-

But “a” call often does.

The assignments change. Roles change. Seasons change. Sometimes doors open and sometimes they close very abruptly, even when we believed we were exactly where God wanted us to be.

I learned that lesson pretty painfully in 2010.

After seven years of ministry work in Nashville, the door suddenly closed. Looking back, I can honestly say I was not in a healthy place emotionally when all of that happened. I was hurt, angry, embarrassed, disappointed, and honestly pretty scared about the future. Losing a position or ministry role has a way of exposing how much identity you may have quietly attached to it.

When you put your your heart and soul into something- it is more like a painful divorce than just a job loss.

Thankfully, a friend of mine helped negotiate a severance package that gave us something incredibly valuable at the time: breathing room. Instead of immediately scrambling into the next opportunity, I had a few months to slow down and think clearly again.

That season ended up becoming much more important than I realized at the time.

For about three months, I settled into a rhythm that was probably as emotionally and spiritually healthy as anything I could have done. I would wake up early, spend a long time reading Scripture and praying, and then go on long runs through Nashville trying to process the frustration and anger that was still sitting pretty close to the surface. I ended up running the Music City Marathon that year, which probably tells you how much running I was doing.

After that I would spend part of the day exploring job opportunities and trying to figure out what came next.

What became very obvious during that season was how difficult it is to make wise decisions when your emotions are running the show. Hurt and ambition can cloud discernment pretty quickly. Fear can too. Pride certainly can.

And honestly, when many of us say we are “praying about a decision,” what we often mean is that we are slowly moving toward what we already want to do while hoping God agrees with us.

I know I have done that more than once.

At the time, I had several opportunities in front of me, including two head football coaching positions. If I am being honest, those opportunities appealed to parts of me that wanted affirmation, significance, and maybe even redemption after the way things had ended in Nashville.

But somewhere during that season I started putting together what I eventually called “The Decision Grid.” It was not anything sophisticated. It was really just an attempt to think more carefully and prayerfully about decisions instead of reacting emotionally.

My wife and I began asking questions that had less to do with titles and more to do with stewardship.

Would this be healthy for our family?

Would this strengthen or strain our marriage?

Would I be building something meaningful or simply rebuilding my ego?

Would this move help me serve people well?

Was I choosing something because it genuinely seemed wise, or because I wanted to prove something?

As we prayed through those questions, I slowly realized that returning to Briarwood was probably the better decision for our family, even though I knew it likely meant I would never again be a head football coach.

At the time, that was difficult to accept. Looking back now, I am deeply thankful for it.

I think one of the mistakes people make with calling is assuming that God’s will always leads toward bigger titles, greater visibility, or more impressive opportunities. Sometimes God’s assignments move in quieter directions than we expected.

Sometimes He redirects us toward faithfulness instead of recognition. Sometimes He strips away roles we had quietly started depending on for identity.

But through all of those changes, “THE CALL” remains steady even when “a” call changes.

Follow Christ. Love people. Walk faithfully. Serve where God has placed you.

The assignments may change over time, but the Shepherd does not.

And honestly, there is a lot of peace in that.

I wanted to share with you this "Decision Grid"- see below.

So looking backwards..... I have had many unplanned changes and events- the secondary calling changed- and moving forward, it helps to trust Him more.

I will write on this in more detail later.....

Song Link: Looking Backward

Coach Jay Mathews’ Decision Grid- A Biblical Framework for Discernment and Calling

1. Start With God’s General Will

Before major decisions, search Scripture for God’s revealed will and boundaries. A foundational passage is 1 Thessalonians 4:1–3

[1] Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. [2] For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. [3] For this is the will of God, your sanctification.....

(11] and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, [12] so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. (ESV)

God’s Word Is My Authority

My motive is to please God by:

• Prayer

• Reading Scripture

• Fellowship — especially with my wife

• Discipline that honors God

• Loving others — especially my wife and children

• Worship

2. The Life I Should Aspire To

1 Thessalonians describes:

• A Quiet Life — not driven by noise, image, or comparison

• Self-Evaluation — examining myself instead of others

• Work & Stewardship — working diligently and using my gifts faithfully

• Responsibility — providing for my family and avoiding dependence on others

3. Questions for Major Decisions

Kingdom

• Is it loving?

• Can I proclaim the Gospel?

• Does it promote God or me?

• Will it help build God’s Kingdom?

Character

• Will I be a giver or taker?

• Does it challenge me?

• Will our family grow spiritually?

Responsibility

• Is it responsible?

• Does it provide for my family?

• Will it create dependence on others?

Counsel

• What does my wife think?

4. Reminders About God’s Guidance

God Guides — But He Expects Wisdom

“I will instruct you and teach you…” — Psalm 32:8
“Do not be like the horse or mule…” — Psalm 32:9

God expects me to:

• Use common sense

• Think clearly

• Walk wisely

• Stay sensitive to His voice

If we remain quiet before Him, the Shepherd’s voice pierces the darkness.

5. The Danger of Self-Deception

This is easy to say and hard to live because we naturally drift toward what we want.

Often “I’m praying about it” becomes- “The Slow No”

Common Tendencies

1. We choose what we already want and use prayer to justify it.

2. Peer approval matters more than God’s approval.

3. We choose pride, power, and status over humility and service.

4. We collect supporting evidence while ignoring opposing wisdom.

6. Warnings About Calling and Ambition

“Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ… The aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him.”

“To make a career choice on selfish grounds is probably the greatest single sin any young person can commit…”

“The call of Jesus is personal but not purely individual…”

7. The Danger of Comfort and Drift

“My mental fatigue is now greater than the bodily. It is so pleasant to sit doing nothing—and therefore so dangerous. Death through exhaustion is like death through freezing—a pleasant one.”  Reinhold Messner, Everest—The First Solo Ascent (1989) quoted in Krakauer’s Into Thin Air

Fatigue dulls:

• conviction

• attention

• memory

• discipline

• purpose

Spiritual drift rarely feels dangerous in the moment.

8. Faithfulness in the Ordinary

Oswald Chambers wrote:

“We do not need the grace of God to stand crises… but it does require the grace of God to live every day as a saint.”

“We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things.”

The Christian life is not mainly dramatic moments, but:

• holiness in ordinary places

• faithfulness in unnoticed moments

• obedience in everyday life

The call is not merely to do exceptional things for God, but to be faithful to Him in all things.

Final Anchor

Be peaceful.
I am His child.
He will be with me — no matter what.

The Problem of Work- Day 5 June R&R

One of the things I have been thinking about during this June Tune-Up is 'work' itself.

Dr. Dan Doriani has done extensive work in this important area:

“The Bible doesn’t oppose fulfillment, but it sees work differently. It focuses on love and service to God and neighbor. It seems to see happiness or satisfaction as an unplanned result of honest labor. Ecclesiastes blesses the laborer who can “find enjoyment” in his toil (Eccles. 2:23; 5:18). It also knows that those who tire themselves in noble tasks tend to sleep well: “Sweet is the sleep of a laborer” (Eccles. 5:12). This suggests that fulfillment at work is like friendship. We find it indirectly, by giving ourselves to other things.”

Most educators limp into June exhausted.

Teachers, coaches, administrators, staff members, parents — everybody seems tired. And not just physically tired. There is a deeper kind of fatigue that builds over time when work becomes stressful, repetitive, frustrating, or emotionally draining.

In Chapter 5 of The Call- Guinness tries to press the point that we should never let “a” call compete with “THE” call and we have to keep reminding ourselves that the Bible never treats work itself as the problem.

A lot of people talk as if work was part of the curse, but when you go back and read Genesis carefully, Adam was given work before the Fall. He was told to cultivate, manage, organize, name, steward, and rule over creation. Work was originally part of God’s good design.

In other words, meaningful work is not punishment. It is part of what it means to bear the image of God. But then Genesis 3 changes the equation. The curse did not create work. The curse frustrated work.

Now work involves Thorns- Resistance- Conflict- Exhaustion- Disappointment.

In my new role in Operations, I can tell you a hard truth: “Entropy IS REAL!”

Left alone, systems break down. Buildings deteriorate. Communication gets messy. Problems multiply. The same thing happens in schools, businesses, churches, and probably every organization on earth.

And of course, the frustration is not only external. We bring our own selfishness, pride, impatience, insecurity, and laziness into work too. That is part of the Fall as well.

Os Guinness talks in The Call about the tension between vocation and “the struggle for daily bread.” I think most adults feel that tension eventually. We want work to matter. We want purpose. We want fulfillment. But sometimes work simply feels hard.

Some days work feels deeply meaningful. Other days it feels like answering emails while putting out fires and trying to survive meetings.

Most people eventually settle into one of two extremes. Either work becomes an idol, where achievement and identity consume everything, or work becomes something to escape from. We count the days until vacation, retirement, or the weekend while quietly resenting large portions of our lives.

I do not think either approach is healthy.

What has challenged me lately is realizing how passive many of us become about work. We complain about leadership, difficult co-workers, impossible schedules, frustrating parents, broken systems, lack of appreciation, or unrealistic expectations. We hope things improve. We wait for circumstances to change.

But we rarely stop and intentionally dedicate our work back to God.

We rarely pray seriously for difficult bosses or co-workers.

We rarely ask what God may be teaching us through frustrating environments.

And we rarely think much about providence- God’s Sovereignty!

Romans 6:13–14- but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. [14] For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. (ESV)

Romans 6 uses active language when Paul talks about the Christian life. He talks about presenting ourselves to God. Offering ourselves. Yielding ourselves. There is intentionality there. 

Paul is not describing a passive faith where we simply hope to drift toward holiness, nor is he encouraging some kind of self-punishing spirituality where misery becomes the goal. Throughout church history there were periods where people believed holiness came through harsh treatment of the body or withdrawal from ordinary life, but those approaches rarely changed the deeper condition of the heart. Paul’s emphasis is different. The Christian life is not about mutilation, but re-dedication. We intentionally place our minds, work, relationships, desires, habits, and circumstances back under the authority of Christ. We stop seeing our daily lives as interruptions to spirituality and begin seeing them as the very places where faithfulness is practiced.

But perhaps part of spiritual maturity is learning how to place even difficult work under the sovereignty of God.

That does not mean every job is wonderful or every environment should simply be tolerated forever. Some situations genuinely need change. But I do think Christians should ask deeper questions before simply running from discomfort.

Why has God placed me here right now?

What opportunities for service exist in this season?

What weaknesses in my own character are being exposed?

Am I approaching my work as worship, stewardship, and service… or merely survival?

Dan Doriani writes often about the dignity of ordinary work and the importance of faithfulness in the places where God has currently placed us. I think that perspective is deeply needed today because modern culture constantly tells us fulfillment is always somewhere else.

A different job. A different boss. A different city. A different season of life.

And sometimes change is appropriate. But sometimes growth happens precisely in the places we would not have chosen for ourselves.

I think that is especially true in education.

Schools are full of meaningful work and frustrating work happening at the same time. There are moments of joy, influence, growth, and purpose mixed together with exhaustion, bureaucracy, interruptions, conflict, and pressure.

That tension is not strange. It is Genesis 3.

But even in a fallen world, work still matters because God still matters.

And perhaps part of a June Tune-Up is learning not simply to escape work, but to re-dedicate our work, our attitudes, our relationships, and our circumstances back to God again.

Instead of bogged down in tasks or papers- consider you are changing lives to the glory of God!

Instead of murmuring about your co-workers or bosses- pray for them and love them as Jesus does.

It is a game changer!

Song Link: Another World?

Purpose Fuels Zeal- Day 4 June R&R

Several years ago I chose the word “Zeal” as a personal theme for the year. Looking back, I think I chose it because I realized I had grown a little flat spiritually and emotionally. I was still working hard and staying busy, but there is a difference between activity and passion. I was functioning fine, but I did not feel particularly energized or inspired.

Around that same time I was reading Os Guinness’ The Call, and one of the things I kept noticing in both the book and in Scripture was how often zeal seems connected to purpose and calling. People tend to develop energy around things they genuinely believe matter. And passion is also very contagious!

That may sound obvious, but I do not think it really is.

As I read through the Bible that year, verses about zeal kept jumping out at me. Romans 12 says, “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.” When Jesus cleansed the temple, the disciples remembered the phrase, “Zeal for your house will consume me.”

I started realizing that biblical faith is not meant to be lifeless or detached. That does not mean every Christian becomes an intense personality or emotional extrovert, but there does seem to be a kind of energy that accompanies conviction and calling.

I can be so 'mental' only- clinical- I am in love with the 'idea' but not the person.....

I have seen this over and over in coaching, education, leadership, and probably just life in general.

Parents sometimes come talk with me about a teenage son who seems aimless, unmotivated, distracted, or disengaged. Usually they are worried because the young man has no clear direction and no real energy toward school, work, or responsibility. Honestly, I remember going through seasons like that myself.

I usually tell them "keep praying and waiting- and when the rocket lights, you will see it"- (you just hope it is a worthwhile endeavor LOL)

But I also remember when things started to change. Once I had a clearer sense of direction and purpose, my energy level changed too. I have seen the same thing happen in athletes, students, teachers, coaches, and leaders. Aimlessness tends to drain people. Purpose creates movement.

That does not mean calling removes exhaustion. Some of the things we are most called to do can also be the most tiring. Education certainly fits that category. Leadership does too. But meaningful work usually creates a different kind of endurance than meaningless work.

I think that is one reason burnout becomes so dangerous when people lose connection to purpose. Once work becomes only maintenance, pressure, deadlines, or survival, it is difficult to sustain energy for very long.

At the same time, I think there is an important warning here too.

Modern culture constantly encourages us to “find our passion” or “follow our dreams,” but those ideas can become very self-centered very quickly. The focus turns inward and life becomes centered on personal fulfillment or self-expression.

Guinness pushes against that throughout The Call. Biblical calling does not begin with self-discovery. It begins with God. The central question is not simply, “What would make me happy?” but “What is God asking me to do with my life?”

That is an important distinction because “my calling” can become narcissistic if it is disconnected from humility, service, community, and obedience.

Real calling usually pulls us outward toward responsibility and service rather than inward toward obsession with ourselves.

And interestingly enough, that is often where zeal grows too.

People who believe deeply in the value and meaning of their work usually find reserves of energy and perseverance they did not know they had.

I want to stop here and reflect on this amazing definition Guinness is using about our calling:

Calling is the truth that God calls us to Himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out as a response to His summons and service.

slow down- go back up- and read that again- bit by bit....

So maybe part of reflection during June is asking a few honest questions:

Do my kids, grandkids, students see me passionate for the Lord- am I showing a faith I would even be willing to die for?

Have I drifted into survival mode?

What work consistently gives me life and meaning?

And am I still listening carefully for what God may be calling me toward now?

If you are reading along with me- drop me a note, I would LOVE to know: jayopsis@gmail.com

My Aim?- Day 3 June R&R

Pushback- Can limitless curiosity itself become a kind of wandering?

When I first went back and started reading these devotions from more than a decade ago, I realized pretty quickly that the early ones were not nearly as strong as the later entries.

Part of that is probably because I was still trying to figure out exactly what I wanted this series to become. I think I was also intentionally trying not to simply summarize Os Guinness’ book The Call. I wanted these thoughts to become more personal and practical as I worked through ideas about calling, mission, purpose, leadership, and what I eventually started calling “My Aim.”

At the time, that phrase sounded really important to me.

“Aim Small, Miss Small” sounded wise and disciplined and purposeful (and it is a common thing I say to QB’s ALL the time.. So it is a buzz phrase for me and of course, it is from “The Patriot” one of my favorite movies)

And there is certainly truth in that idea.

But looking back now, more than ten years later, my life has not unfolded nearly as neatly as I once imagined it would. Honestly, it often feels less like carefully aiming at a target and more like running around like a headless chicken while God somehow still gets me where I need to be.

That may actually be closer to reality than I wanted to admit back then.

One of the most important chapters in The Call is called “Seekers Sought.” I probably underestimated that chapter when I first read the book years ago. Or maybe I simply had not lived enough life yet to fully appreciate it.

Guinness spends some time discussing Leonardo da Vinci, and that example affects me differently now than it did a decade ago.

When you are younger, Da Vinci mostly sounds inspiring. Brilliant. Curious. Creative. Interested in everything. But the older I get, the more haunting that story feels. So many unfinished projects. So many scattered interests.So much searching. (and it is Exhausting)

And maybe age just makes you more aware that the clock is ticking a little louder than it once did.Just a few months ago I wrote the quote from Tennessee Williams (That time is short and it doesn't return again. It is slipping away while I write this and while you read it, and the monosyllable of the clock is 'Loss, Loss, Loss' unless you devote your heart to its opposition.)

But the encouragement in this chapter is not really about becoming a better seeker. Guinness’ point is almost the opposite.

Christianity is not mainly about our search for God. It is about God pursuing us.

That is a very different idea than most modern discussions about spirituality, purpose, and self-discovery.

Scripture is full of examples of people wandering, resisting, doubting, running, hiding, failing, and zig-zagging through life while God continues pursuing them anyway.The Bible narratives are messy. This journey is not clinical- it is NOT a straight line.

And honestly, I find that encouraging.

Because if my life depended completely on my own clarity, discipline, and ability to perfectly execute some master life-plan, I would have failed long ago.

Instead, when I look back over my life, I mostly see the faithfulness of God through a lot of imperfect decisions, changing seasons, unexpected turns, unfinished plans, and occasional confusion.

That does not mean calling is unimportant. I still think calling matters deeply.

I still think we should think carefully about direction, stewardship, priorities, and how we spend our lives.

But I think I understand something a little differently now than I did when I first wrote these devotions years ago.

Peace does not come from perfectly engineering your future. Peace comes from trusting that God is faithful even while we are still figuring things out.

So maybe that is the better question for today.

Not simply:

“What is MY aim?” But maybe “Where is God’s bullseye? And how stubborn am I going to be- resisting the Lord- before I get there?”

Note: These themes have been so consistent in me going back to even my literature studies in the 1980’s that I have wrestled with them in verse and song as well- Here are a few blogposts and songs that capture today' s reading.

Tennesse Williams

3/4 Empty

The Last Days of Howard Hughes

Long Enough to Be Me

Zombie Chickens

Why the 'Ultimate Why' Matters- Day 2 June R&R

One of the dangers in life is that you can achieve a great deal and still feel empty.

Many people eventually discover this. In fact, study ‘celebrities’ through history and we discover  the most wealthy/famous people are sometimes the least happy, nothing really moves their soul.

We experience it as well in less degrees- The next promotion does not fully satisfy. The next accomplishment fades quickly. The next milestone creates excitement for a little while… and then life settles back into normal again.

There is nothing wrong with goals. I believe in goals. I have spent much of my life setting them.

As a football coach there were always goals in front of us:

Team football goals are kind of like a pyramid- We used to start with Undefeated, 7 wins, make playoffs, win playoff games, state championship… something like that….. we call them 'Achievements'.

But over time I began noticing that achievement by itself was never enough.

When we won the state championship in 1998 (going 15-0!), the excitement was incredible. But before long, the attention shifted toward the next one. We won again in 1999, but strangely it did not feel quite the same. Then we went several years before winning another.

So were those years failures? Of course not.

That forced me to start thinking differently about success and achievement.

Achievement involves accomplishing goals.

Success is deeper and asks different questions:

Did we become tougher?

Did we learn to sacrifice for one another?

Did leaders lead?

Did players grow in discipline, perseverance, and character?

Did we become the kind of team we hoped to become?

Those questions mattered more and more to me over time.

Because you can achieve a great deal and still miss what matters most.

And you can also fall short of visible achievement while still succeeding deeply.

Os Guinness helped sharpen this idea for me in ‘The Call’.

One of the reasons that book impacted me so much is because it pushed beyond career success, accomplishment, and recognition. Guinness kept bringing the reader back to calling.

Not simply:

What are you accomplishing?

But:

What are you aiming your life toward?

Literature is full of reminders that achievement alone cannot satisfy the human heart.

Pip finally gets his new clothes in Great Expectations and still feels restless.

Gatsby builds his dream only to discover that it dissolves into what Fitzgerald called “foul dust.”

Guy de Maupassant wrote:

“I have coveted everything and taken pleasure in nothing.”

I think most adults eventually encounter some version of that realization.

Without an ultimate “why,” life becomes reactive.

We chase deadlines….pressure….recognition… approval…We chase the next accomplishment.

And somewhere along the way we can lose sight of purpose.

Ephesians 4 warns about people being “tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind.”

A life without a clear aim eventually gets pulled in a hundred different directions.

That is why this June tune-up may help- it gives us a rare opportunity to slow down long enough to think about bigger things.

Maybe don’t write goals this month…. How about 1 word like my boss, Gus Martin does each year? Not just plans…. How about direction?

What kind of person am I becoming?

What actually brings peace and contentment?

Am I living intentionally or simply reacting?

What matters most?

Alex de Tocqueville once wrote:

“The final aim of life is placed beyond life.”

For the Christian believer, that changes everything.

If our ultimate aim is tied only to earthly success, recognition, comfort, or accomplishment, disappointment eventually catches us.

But if our lives are rooted in Christ and shaped by His calling, even ordinary work carries meaning.

That does not eliminate ambition. It reorders it. If we have an ‘ultimate why’ keeping the compass on true north- then the things in our lives become tools instead of masters. We limit the trap of making ‘good things’ into “God-things”. The ancient sin of idolatry.

Achievement becomes part of the journey instead of the definition of our worth.

And calling steadies us when achievement comes… and when it does not.

So perhaps today is a good day to step back and ask a bigger question:

What is my ultimate why?

One last note- I think I have become a really good coach in preparing ‘spotlight athletes’ from letting pressure moments hinder their performance- I talk to them about how they are not VALIDATED by their performance- they are already validated as a man created in God’s image- this frees them up- best chance of making the play is that you don’t HAVE to make it- free to fail means even free-er to make.

The Ultimate Truth behind the Ultimate Why? God loves you and He demonstrates His love towards us - that though we are sinners… He died for us. (Romans 5:8)